Non-Americans who escalate inter-nationality teasing immediately to “school shootings and trump” stop challenge
American’s Teasing England: Tea in the shower, u have a queen, other relatively benign stereotypes
American’s Teasing Canada: u have moose and beavers, maple syrup u like it
American’s Teasing Australia: kangaroos and koalas, it’s hot there, summer time, toilets flush backward
Canada, England, and Australia retaliating from that teasing: school shootings, kill a child today hm? your police murder you, you’re gonna die from a preventable disease, everyone in the country is hopelessly poor and dying, everyone’s in debt, you can’t even afford to die. THAT’ll teach u to tease us about having ANIMALS in our country!
I mean, sure, it’s all fun and games to you. But I’ve had friends legitimately try to kill themselves just thinking about a future in this country. I have co-workers who cried on the first day of school because they were scared of dying. While I was working at a school there were three school shooting threats in 4 weeks. I had friends break out into tears after the massacre in 2018 talking about it in class, terrified that they were going to die while working–or watch students die.
My high school history teacher was shot in the back on campus. Everyone here knows someone who’s been affected by gun violence. Everyone knows someone who’s been affected by healthcare, or lack thereof. Everyone knows someone whose life has been ruined by college debt.
The day in, day out nightmare of living in America is not a fucking “GOTCHA” for when you’re trying to tease America. Why is this so hard to comprehend.
Non-Americans: Ugh americans are so entitled and mean and rude
Also Non-Americans: Oh you’re gonna make fun of me drinking tea? Well you’re gonna be violently murdered and then you’ll go into thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt from the act lol this is an equivalent comparison and doesn’t make me look like the asshole in the situation at all!! Americans are soooo rude!
Any examples of what we can tease you about then? Any universal Americanisms that cause the right amount of offense without stepping over the line?
Imperial system
Shoes on in house
Smiling too much
High school football
Opossums, raccoons, deer, etc.
Carpet (I’ve heard other countries aren’t as obsessed with carpet as Americans)
Sales tax (how much will this cost? Nobody knows!)
Roadside tourist attractions (world’s biggest ball of yarn etc)
“it’s only a 6 hour drive”
Buying tea in a gallon jug
Being in the prairie states and there literally being nothing in any direction for miles not even trees
Tornadoes anything to do with tornado culture
Waffle house
The mere concept of semi trucks / 18 wheelers
Every state except California claiming they have the weirdest weather
five petrol stations within a two block radius, sometimes two of the same brand
ketchup is too spicy
mayonnaise on/in literally everything we put noodles and mayo in a bowl and call it a salad i shit you not
absolute failures at geography
deep fried everything. seriously. we deep fry BUTTER.
Absolutely everything and anything somehow being a casserole
HELL IS REAL billboard here in Ohio
The giant dinosaur roadside tourist attraction out in the middle of nowhere
Route 66
Corn fields, everywhere you look
Weird salads (like ambrosia)
Fanny packs
Prom (I’ve heard other countries don’t have prom? Or any of the other 100 school dances a year??)
People microwave their tea instead of boiling it
The white people half-jog-and-wave combo when crossing the street
Endless ads for pharmaceuticals
how about not having our laundry machines in any sensible places? mine’s in the fucking basement, so all of us have to haul our laundry up and down a flight of stairs. this is extremely common
The difficulty is that all our Stupid Nonsense is so regional. For example, the appropriate wildlife joke here in the Northeast is bears. But my family in Florida has had to shoo alligators out of the backyard like a common nuisance.
There is the well agreed upon hatred of California and Texas, and the agreed upon mocking of Florida
Omg fucking fLORIDA ITS SO STUPID IS IT ACTUALLY OF THIS UNIVERSE LIKE WHAT THE HELL
There’s a w h a t sign in Ohio?
There are a lot of regional variations but one universal is everyone makes fun of New Jersey.
Including people from New Jersey.
There are also cultural constants.
BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!!!
If someone bumps into you you are legally required to yell
“Ei’ um walkin’ ova here”
in a New York accent.
Without even mentioning our cryptids which are both amazing and I will fight anyone over the objective superiority of mothman. And at the same time its… a moth… man… like?????
If ya wanna pick fun at the Northeast, you could always pick fun at the accent! Words like “faster” becomes “fastah” while words like “pizza” become “pizzer”
You don’t park your car in the drive way, it’s the pahk yahd. Mainer and Bostonian are similar, but you could compare Bostonian to being more aggressive and mobster like, but Mainah as the North Texan accent. Take ya cah and take a drive daown tah Bah Habah for an outtin’, may not have the best lobstah in the airyah but it’s a wicked beautyfuhl spot y'hear.
Lobsters, moose, bears, trees that vastly outnumber the population, how everyone from Massachusetts is a Masshole and a fuckin awful driver
Or that Stephen King is a local cryptid in Maine
or that New England is haunted by the ghosts of old - any old building is likely haunted by some 1700s-1800s widow of a sailor
So my brother and I were just talking on the phone and we realized: Aang might have mastered all four elements but Sokka mastered the non-bending styles from all four nations!
He already knew how to fight with Water Tribe weapons/regalia:
Then, in what’s likely the first Earth Kingdom village he’s ever visited, he learned how to fight with the Warriors of Kyoshi:
When he reached the Northern Air Temple, he was able to tap into the philosophy of the airbenders and realize that the best way to win a battle is to avoid face-to-face confrontation by instead using creative means (and the sky) to take down your opponent:
And finally, when he reached the Fire Nation, Piandao taught him how to forge a unique weapon and hone his swordsmanship:
Sokka learned all four non-bending styles!
Really puts Iroh’s quote into a different context:
“Understanding the other nations will help you become whole.”
the way men think eating meat feeds into their masculinity is so fucking funny like miss thing you didn’t wrestle that shit with your bare hands you took your dumpy ass to costco in your wife’s pt cruiser you might as well be a drag queen at this point
did i ever tell u all that when i was 15 i went on a school trip to see romeo and juliet at the globe but my teacher didn’t realise until after he’d booked it that it was a ~sexy~ version with bdsm in it
ok people wanted the whole story here are the most Memorable Moments™️
•the production made a lot of people very very angry and the reviews were calling it ‘a desecration of shakespeare’ , other people said it was akin to vandalism
•a warning letter had to be sent home to parents because it was too late to cancel the booking
•all the teachers there looked like they wanted to die cause we were 13-15 years old lmaoo
•the play opened with really aggressive confetti cannons and in the centre of the stage there was this really muscled guy wearing almost nothing and there were four women in essentially lingerie just.. gyrating over him
•this had nothing to do with the plot by the way it was just there
•we’re only five minutes in and i think the teachers were considering evacuating us
•romeo’s dad is in an inflatable dinosaur costume for an entire scene.. no context was given
•i’ve blocked the actual sex scene out of my memory
•i might have imagined this but in the masked ball scene i swear someone was in full bdsm gear i SWEAR
•mercutio was played by a woman and just started stripping during a monologue which was an Experience
•lots and lots of twerking from background actors
•romeo was just dressed like an emo the whole time
for any doubters here’s an excerpt from an article on it ! by the financial times for some reason
This is 100% what Shakespeare would have wanted
it really fucking is
PLEASE tell me someone filmed this! Because holy SHIT do I wanna watch this!!!!
Shakespeare would watch this and be like “damn why the fuck didn’t I think of nipple tassels”
Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun
He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.
